Sexual addiction is a disorder that has a lot of debate surrounding it. People claim that it is just an excuse for irresponsible sexual behavior. That might just be coming from those hurt by people with the addiction though
Sexual addiction is when someone cannot control the urge to have sexual relations whether risky or not. This is generally despite negative consequences. It is too common to think that sexual addiction isn’t real when it definitely is.
People do have a sexual addiction, and it does destroy lives and families. It isn’t fair to say it doesn’t just because we don’t believe it fits our ideas of addiction.
Sexual addiction starts as an escape, as any addiction does. It’s a good time, and people enjoy it. Maybe they aren’t really enjoying anything else in life. Perhaps they link their enjoyment to sex too much and feel they cannot live without having it.
Activities that happen in daily life like eating, sex, or exercising are good in moderation. But any of these activities can become obsessive. People continue on their path even if it hurts themselves or others. When that happens, addiction has set in.
Becoming addicted to sex tends to lead back to a person’s history and their relations with sex. But it doesn’t always. It usually is a person trying to escape reality or emotions.
Eighty percent of sex addicts have had trauma in the past. That is a considerable number. If someone has had trauma or neglect or abuse they might have a difficult time forming trust or bonds. Casual sex had a general level of detachment. That can make them feel safer emotionally because they don’t have to connect.
Sexual activity can lead to the rush and high or euphoria, as with drug addiction. So sex addicts are seeking out that feeling to escape their lives or reality.
Sex addiction doesn’t start right away. It happens later on and is usually triggered by an event. When life becomes overwhelming, they turn to sex addiction. It’s about the routine and the comfort and dopamine derived from it. Not just the action.
There is usually a source of pain that leads a person to sex addiction. The pain can come from anywhere and have any cause. It can be the thing that causes sex addiction to get worse. If they feel the pain, they want to escape it more and more.
They might start to fantasize about how to get away from their pain. This could be by fantasizing about sexual acts. This means they may not associate the act with reality.
Ritual is when an addict starts to follow through with their fantasies. They might watch porn, wander. Once they start obsessing and planning it usually means they cannot turn back. The addiction has set in its claws.
Now they have the sex to help hide their pain and feel better. They get the sexual desires they wanted. They can be just having sex or picking up prostitutes or whatever it is they need to get that dopamine rush.
As always with addiction, there is a layer of guilt or shame. They don’t necessarily want to be doing what they’re doing. They feel as if they should be able to control themselves. But addiction takes over and controls you, even when you hurt other people. That’s the whole problem with it.
Sexual addiction involves the inability to hold back from sexual desires. Even if you’re married and happy and in love, you pursue sexual fantasies. Even if you aren’t enjoying the sex, you still have it. That’s the addiction.