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“Sperm Counts”

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Lohrey, David T. (American playwright, teacher, drama critic, 1955-____), “Sperm Counts,”

a 20-minute comedy in English (available in Japanese translation), set in the Los Angeles Sperm Bank/Fertility Clinic, afternoon, 2000,


  •  © 2000 by David T. Lohrey;  •  in David T. Lohrey’s Sperm Counts (Edgewater, New Jersey, U.S.A.: The Author, 2000);  •  script/rights available from David T. Lohrey, 404 River Mews Lane, Edgewater, New Jersey 07020, U.S.A., e-mail davlohrey@msn.com, telephone (home) 201-943-6209, www.Lohreywrites.com.  •  Cited by David T. Lohrey via ftp July 19, 2002; Lohrey says,

  §  Dramatis Personae Mr. Arona (m), 45, henpecked; Mr. Curtis (m), 38, gung-ho; Mr. Kalinski (m), extravagantly Russian; Nurse (f), 25, in uniform, sincere but incompetent.

  §  Synopsis “One by one, Mr. Curtis, then Mr. Orona, and finally Mr. Kalinski enter the Sperm Bank/Fertility Clinic for professional services. Mr. Curtis wishes to extend his appointment, while Mr. Orona would be happy to come back. Mr. Kalinski has come on the wrong day. The Nurse attempting to accommodate them is soon overwhelmed. Mr. Kalinski suggests that the men compete, to test each other’s manhood. Even here things go wrong, when the men are given the wrong materials to aid stimulation. Finally, the men go their separate ways.

  §  Comment “There is one scene, one set, no special requirements.  •  The play will receive its World Premiere at The Riant Theatre, 161 Hudson Street, 4th floor, New York, New York (telephone 212-925-8353), on July 22, 2002.  •  Japanese translation:  Hideo Horibe.”

  §  Themes contest, gender expectation, manhood, masculinity, penis, sexual frustration, sperm, test.

See also David T. Lohrey’s

  • “In a Newark Minute,” a 20-minute farce in English, set at a ticketing counter, Newark Liberty International Airport, Newark, New Jersey, U.S.A., 2m4f, available elsewhere in English and Japanese
  • Nirvana on Rye,” a 15-minute comedy in English, set in a bar, U.S.A., late afternoon, 2001, 3f
  • One, Two, Three,” a 15-minute comedy in English or Japanese, set in a college dorm room, U.S.A., Saturday night, 10:00 p.m., 2m2f
  • “Peace of Mind,” a 20-minute tragicomedy in English, set in a church basement, small town in the South, U.S.A., late afternoon, 1996, 1m4f, available elsewhere
  • Skinless and Boneless,” a 15-minute comedy in English, set in a deli, Los Angeles, U.S.A., early evening, 2000, 2m2f

  • This Website continues under construction and welcomes new citations and comments.

    Page mounted July 19, 2002, and updated August 4, October 26, November 3, 2002, by the Webmaster.

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