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“500 Year, 500 Miles”

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Burgan, Michael (American playwright, free-lance writer, 1960-____), “500 Year, 500 Miles,”

a 45-minute comedy-drama in English, set in an apartment in a city somewhere in the northeast United States, Sunday afternoon, October, 1991,


; • © 2003 by Michael Burgan; • in Michael Burgan’s 500 Year, 500 Miles (Windsor, Connecticut, U.S.A.: The Author, 2003); • script/rights available from Michael Burgan, 27 Portman Street, Windsor, Connecticut 06095, U.S.A., e-mail mburgan@aol.com, telephone (home) 860-683-4272. • Cited by Michael Burgan via ftp May 21, 2004; Burgan says,

§ Dramatis Personae Terry (m), 28; a grad student; Dwayne (m), 28, older in appearance than Terry; a speed freak; Connie (28), Terry’s wife; J.L. (f), 28, Dwayne’s girlfriend and Terry’s longtime friend, a heroin addict.

§ Synopsis “While home alone on a weekend afternoon, Terry is startled when Dwayne, a frenzied ‘freak,’ knocks at his door, hands him a baby, and leaves. Terry’s puzzlement—and worry—increases when Dwayne returns with J.L., Terry’s unrequited first love—and a heroin addict. Her looks obliterated by her life-style, J.L. is not the person Terry once loved, yet some feeling still lingers. J.L. announces that the baby they have brought is hers—and Terry’s, the result of a drunken one-night stand a year before. She and Dwayne need money for little Lucretia’s food and other necessities. Terry finds the paternity plausible, and ironic, given that the case of testicular cancer he developed a few months before has left him seemingly sterile. That condition has created some strains with Connie, his wife, who aches for a child. Connie returns to find Dwayne and J.L. strung out and Terry tending to Lucretia. She is not thrilled with Terry’s plan that they keep the child, since J.L. is so obviously unfit. Approaching police sirens end the plan, as Terry realizes what he once suspected but refused to believe—the whole incident was a scam for Dwayne and J.L. to get money for their habits.

§ Comment “One scene, no special requirements."

§ Themes deception at all levels, unrequited love.

See also Michael Burgan’s

  • "Gigo," a 20-minute comedy-drama in English, set in an office building in the northeast United States, a weeknight, 2004, 2m
  • "Rack 'Em Up," a 25-minute comedy-drama in English, set in the heavens, eons ago, 1m1f
  • "Tommy's," a 45-minute comedy-drama in English, set in an apartment in a city somewhere in the northeast United States, Sunday afternoon, October, 1991, 2m1f

This Website continues under construction and welcomes new citations and comments.

Page mounted May 25, 2004, and updated June 26, 2004, by the Webmaster.

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