Hylton, Jeff (American playwright, lyricist, 1970- ), "Feed-the-Cow,"
a 20-minute comedy in English, set in a farmhouse, one fine
© 1995, script/rights available from Jeff Hylton, 485
Court Street #4R, Brooklyn, New York 11231, U.S.A., telephone
(home) 718 694-9546. Cited by playwright via ftp, July 13, 1997;
Dramatis Personae Shemp (m), farmer; Rance (m),
Shemp's buddy; Mrs. Unzaum (f), the Farm Inspector
Synopsis "Shemp has raised what he thinks
to be a truly Great Cow, Bossy. He has submitted her for consideration
to the Farm Committee, and is awaiting the arrival of the Farm
Inspector, for an on-site assessment of the animal. He expresses
his excitement at this prospect of Bossy's being honored by the
Committee to his buddy, Rance. They discuss this in their own
particular, terse, course style of speaking. Mrs. Unzaum, the
Farm Inspector finally arrives and chastises Shemp for his pathetic
essay on Bossy. She fruitlessly tries to bring his grasp of the
English language to a level acceptable to the Committee. When
they finally get around to looking at Bossy herself, they discover
that the Great Cow has starved to death because they have been
too busy talking to feed the cow. Mrs. Unzaum makes a prompt exit,
leaving Shemp and Rance to conclude that life is precious."
Themes cow, committee, English language, farming,
inspection, livestock, starvation.
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