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“Girls Night Out”

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Tony Zelonis

Zelonis, Tony, American playwright, pharmacist, actor, magician, 1942-____), “Girls Night Out”

a 20-minute dark comedy in English, set in Girls Night Out Gun Shop, daytime, 2003,


; • © 2003 by Tony Zelonis; • in Tony Zelonis’ Girls Night Out (Billings, Montana, U.S.A.: The Author, 2003); • script/rights available from Tony Zelonis, 1101 Keno Street, Billings, Montana 59105, U.S.A., e-mail tonyzelonis@yahoo.com, telephone (home) 406-252-2683. • Cited by Tony Zelonis via ftp September 12, 2003; Zelonis says,

  §  Dramatis Personae Jim (m), 22, clean cut; Lois Lane (f), 35, sweet, pretty; Bertha (f), 45, a tough broad.

  §  Synopsis “Bertha and Lois are feverishly stacking boxes of spoiled canned hams. They diverted the hams from a landfill and intend to sell them to unsuspecting militant survivalists to store away as emergency rations. Jim enters with a knife intending to rob them, not realizing it is a gun shop. His knife is no match for the women's guns, and he is disarmed and tied up. Bertha won't call the police because of the 9000 stolen hams jamming the store. She hopes to convince the militant survivalists to get rid of him as part of the deal for the hams. While Bertha is arranging his fate, Jim convinces Lois to free him. He immediately betrays her. He disarms Lois and Bertha and proceeds to rob the store. He takes guns, money and a case of the spoiled hams. Lois tries to warn him that the hams are spoiled, but he doesn't listen. Bertha encourages him to take the hams and gives him a cheery ‘bon appetite’ as a send off. Jim departs with his spoils and we can surmise his fate.

  §  Comment “There is one scene, the gun shop. Props include large number of cardboard boxes for the hams, at least two guns, either pistols or rifles, or both, a knife, a roll of tape.”

  §  Themes emergency ration, fire arm, female self-defense, ham, knife, robbery, survivalism.

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