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“Charity Ball”

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portrait of Schatzie Schaefers


Schaefers, Schatzie (American playwright, radio personality, 1971-____), “Charity Ball,”

a 30-minute comedy in English in three scenes, set in a Mexican restaurant in Anchorage, Alaska, U.S.A., a hotel ballroom in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A., a hotel room in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A., April 25, 2004; 10:00 p.m., May 7, 2004; 10:30 p.m., May 7 2004,

1m2f; • © 2004 by Schatzie Schaefers; • in Schatzie Schaefers’ Charity Ball (Anchorage, Alaska, U.S.A.: The Author, 2004); • script/rights available from Schatzie Schaefers, 8381 Stratton Circle, Anchorage, Alaska 99507, U.S.A., telephone, e-mail squatsified@yahoo.com, telephone (home) 907-243-4653; please contact by e-mail. • Cited by Schatzie Schaefers via ftp September 22, 2004; Schaefers says,

§ Dramatis Personae Dan (m), 50, a wealthy married man; Holly (f), 33, a disc jockey who has just been fired; Heather (f), 33, Holly's best friend.

§ SynopsisScene i: Holly and Heather meet at a Mexican restaurant to discuss Holly's recent firing. Holly explains that she was fired for making a disparaging remark about Ted Nugent on the air. Heather confides that she is unsatisfied with her job and has always wanted to be a prostitute. Heather asks the now-unemployed Holly to act as her pimp. They kick around the idea of approaching wealthy men at charity functions, preferably out of town. Holly toys with the idea, but ultimately says no. Scene ii: Holly and Heather are dressed in formal wear at a charity function in Seattle. Holly has been dancing with Dan, who has had a few drinks and managed to wander far from his church's table. When Dan goes for more drinks, Holly tries to convince Heather that this man is their best target. Heather is repelled by Dan, but agrees to go ahead with the plan. When Dan returns, Holly gives him the sales pitch. Dan is at first offended, and leaves. But he soon returns, admitting that he was worried the girls might be police officers. The girls seduce Dan, and Heather takes him up to a hotel room. Scene iii: Heather gives Dan the fastest, worst sex he's ever had in his life, and the now furious Dan refuses to pay her. Heather calls Holly into the room for help. Quick on her feet, Holly threatens to call their pimp 'Antoine' into the room to rough Dan up. Frightened, Dan acquiesces and offers Heather the money in his wallet, which isn't enough. Angry Heather snatches the wallet from Dan's hands and begins to read his driver's license out loud. This is when Holly discovers that Dan is the famous Dan Epps, a former radio personality who now manages several radio station in Seattle. Holly tells Dan that if he can get her a job at one of his stations, she will not call the dreaded 'Antoine' into the room. Dan agrees to give Holly a job. Once the fiasco is over and Dan is gone, Heather announces that she wants to give it another try. Holly refuses, now that she has a job. But she is secretly turned on by the excitement of the evening, and eventually agrees to play madam to Heather for one more hour.

§ Comment “Three scenes total. First set change is simple but requires a costume change. Second set change is more complicated, as we go from a table and chairs to a hotel room. A challenge for the director to make these changes as quick as possible to keep the play's momentum going. • Produced in an evening of one-act plays entitled Fourplay at Cyrano's Off-Center Playhouse in Anchorage, Alaska, September 9-19th, 2004.”

§ Themes alcohol, friendship, prostitution, radio, religion, unemployment.



See also Schatzie Schaefers'

  • "Charity Ball," a 30-minute comedy in English in three scenes, set in a Mexican restaurant in Anchorage, Alaska, U.S.A., a hotel ballroom in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A., a hotel room in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A., April 25, 2004; 10:00 p.m., May 7, 2004; 10:30 p.m., May 7 2004, 1m2f
  • "Skid Marks," a 12-minute dark comedy in English, set in an apartment living room, 4:00 a.m., Saturday, 2004, 1m1f
  • "Symbiosis," a 20-minute comedy in English, set in urban bachelor pad, U.S.A., 5:00 p.m., a weeknight, 2004, 2m1f
  • "The TiVo Tribe," a 40-minute comedy in English in three scenes, set in an apartment in Valdez, Alaska, U.S.A., 6:00 p.m., Saturday, February 21, 2004, 2m1f

This Website continues under construction and welcomes new citations and comments.

Page mounted October 13, 15, 2004, by the Webmaster.

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